Weird Al Yankovic - Canadian Idiot lyrics

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot

Don't wanna be some beer swillin' hockey nut

And do I look like some frostbitten hose-head?

I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed

They all live on donuts and moose meat

And they leave the house without packin' heat

Never even bring their guns to the mall

And you know what else is too funny?

Their stupid Monopoly money

Can't take 'em seriously at all

Well maple syrup and snow's what they export

They treat curling just like it's a real sport

They think their silly accent is so cute

Can't understand a thing they're talkin' aboot

Sure they got their national health care

Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air

Then again well they got Celine Dion

Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni

And dream of drivin' a Zamboni

All over Saskatchewan

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot

Won't figure out their temperature in Celsius

See the map, they're hoverin' right over us

Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous

Always hear the same kind of story

Break their nose and they'll just say "sorry"

Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?

It's gotta mean they're all up to somethin'

So quick, before they see it comin'

Time for a pre-emptive strike!