Varnadeau Jeni - This Is Rest lyrics

[Esham talking]

[chorus]

One day I'ma die, mama don't cry

Ain't no heaven up in the sky

One day I'ma fade away

And set the world on fire, watch the sky turn grey [x2]

I was born to mourn,I guess that's why I live the life of misery

Forever through eternity

My mama was a junkie, I was born into this world a crack baby

My bottle was brass monkey

I developed a brain tumor,now I consume a half ounce of Rose

I sniff bullets with my snub nose

I grew up on the east side, 7 mile area

I was raised like a pitbull terrier

I developed a criminal behavior

I murdered my first man and knew Jesus Christ wasn't my savior

Jehovah witness,witnessed me takin care of my business

So I shot him on the front porch

I took their bibles and burned em

I checked their pockets, turned em inside out

Dumped their bodies in the lake with the trout

It all started as a toddler,now I'm a .45 bullet swallower

And mama don't cry

[chorus]

Somehow it seems,mama calling my name in my dreams

Crackfiends, amphetimenes, what does it really mean

Sometimes it feels like I'm fallin,am I close to death

Gaspin,suffocatin for air,losin my breath

I see visions of doctors and scalpels makin incisions

From fatal collisions to suicide decisions

Nobody knows my suffering

I bring the pain from my migrane, I swallow 23 bufferins

I was addicted to caine since birth

Crack baby goin crazy, so how much is my life worth

A baby boy that bounces

36 ounces I flip,kilograms I slam from the hip

It's kinda crazy how I'm livin

But I'm mad on a murder ride nigga I'm suicide driven

I've arisen from a dead state-of-mind to find I was blind,too late

Mama don't cry

[chorus]

If I could start all over I would

But I can't,if I could,then my heart might have been good

I guess I lost all my time when I lost my mind

It makes me sad to hear mama cryin

So many dyin

I never stopped to think what I put you through

Much love,I thought you hated me,mama I never knew

I guess I walked the wrong path

In the aftermath,many demons screamin my name

You don't know the half

I was dead a long time ago

Never ressurected,once the .45 shell connected

With my dome,I saw my misery crack a smile

So put my dead body in the pile

And wait a while till you come to the cemetary

Cuz you might see my tombstone burnin cuz it's necessary

Pine box, my body rots with the best of em

Mama I'm dead like the rest of em

Mama don't cry