The County Medical Examiners

The County Medical Examiners - Y-Shaped Thoracoabdominalincision lyrics

...Alphabetic diagram...

...Of the gross exam...

Medical examiners are detectives, who forensically

sift through a body of evidence

It's rarely simple, as you can see...the organs are on

the inside

We open up the corpse to find the clues that point to

an explanation that might make sense

Let's crack the cadaver open for a little peek and

document what we find...

...With scalpel in hand...

...I hatch the plan...

Whether man, woman, child-the procedure is always the

same

Beginning the medicolegal autopsy isn't very hard

The thoracoabdominal incision is the name of this

turgidly morbid game

And the letter "Y" is the shape that we must carve...

All ME's worth their salt keep a blade of their own

And have their scalpel professionally sharpened,

polished, and honed

Because of its ability to cut through skin, meat,

gristle, and bone

We keep track of it from the opening of the corpse to

when it is sewn...

...I must confess...

...This will make a mess...

...The stiff is ripe and putrefied...

...I scalpel the mephitic skin...

...And trace the letter "Y"...

...So the autopsy begins...

In order to field dress this cadaver we cut from the

bottom of the neck to above the crotch

Some pathologists prefer to first puncture the bloated

corpse to release built-up methane gas

Simply grasp the scalpel and apply downward pressure

at the jugular notch

You'll find the skin will slice like butter, revealing

subcutaneous tissue and ballooning yellow fat...

...No time to flinch...

...Only amateurs cringe...

Draw the blade down over the body of the sternum and

breastplate

Past the manubrium and xiphoid process and

costoxiphoid ligament group

Split the rectus abdominal muscle without a measure of

haste

Then stop and wipe your brow and take a moment to

recoup...

Peel back the flayed skin and shear it from the muscle

sides

Taking the retractors, spread the carcass wide

Costal cartilage snaps from each of the ribs so we may

look inside

The inner organs sit on display-glistening-with

nothing to hide...

...You've earned your degree...

...In the art of necropsy...

...The stiff is ripe and putrefied...

...I scalpel the mephitic skin...

...And trace the letter "Y"...

...So the autopsy begins...

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