The Captain Beefheart - Old Fart At Play lyrics

Pappy with the Khaki sweatband

Bowed goat potbellied barnyard that only he noticed

The old fart was smart

The old gold cloth madonna

Dancin' t' the fiddle 'n saw

He ran down behind the knoll

'n slipped on his wooden fishhead

The mouth worked 'n snapped all the bees

Back t' the bungalow

Momma was flatten'n lard

With her red enamel rollin' pin

When the fishhead broke the window

Rubber eye erect 'n precisely detailed

Airholes from which breath should come

Is now closely fit

With the chatter of the old fart inside

An assortment of observations took place

Momma licked 'er lips like uh cat

Pecked the ground like uh rooster

Pivoted like uh duck

Her stockings down caught dust 'n doughballs

She cracked 'er mouth glaze caught one eyelash

Rubbed 'er hands on 'er gorgeous gingham

Her hand grasped sticky metal intricate latchwork

Open t' the room uh smell cold mixed with bologna

Rubber bands crumpled wax paper bonnets

Fat goose legs 'n special jellies

Ignited by the warmth of the room

The old fart smelled this thru his important breather holes

Cleverly he dialed from within from the outside we observed

That the nose of the wooden mask

Where the holes had just been uh moment ago

Was now smooth amazingly blended camouflaged in

With the very intricate rainbow trout replica

The old fart inside was now breathin' freely

From his perfume bottle atomizer air bulb invention

His excited eyes from within the dark interior glazed;

watered in appreciation of his thoughtful preparation.