THE BOSS HOG BARBARIANS - Bitch, That Ain't Luv! lyrics
"Fix you somethin to eat? Nigga please!
You better get back in this battle and handle your business"
[J-Zone:]
[belching] Huh?!
Woke up quick, at about noon
Hard dick and I wanna get some breakfast soon
I want some food and some head befo' the day begins
So I call up Jeanette one of my female friends
She was all on my pack like asbestos
Washed my balls and the bitch made breakfast (uh-huh)
She had good looks, a butt big and soft
But the hoe couldn't cook so I CUT THE BITCH OFF
Nowadays Zone ain't fuckin with love
I need a bitch to cook it up like Wolfgang Puck
The pancakes sucked so I left her
Pick up the phone to call this broke-ass heffer
Yeah this bitch named Ethel, I call her big breakfast
Because she big as hell but she can sho' cook breakfast
Baby look to' up, damn near broke
But her cookin is so good I damn near proposed
When I give you a ring girl, that ain't love
I'm just thinkin 'bout my future, cause I need grub
When we get old, FUCK LOOKS, I want collard greens
Wash my dish and my dick and I fly the scene
(Yo dawg, she got a mustache) Man that shit is minor
Cause she blows like a pro and turn my house into a diner
Do I look like Mr. Belvedere? Bitch I burned cereal
So we ain't gonna hook up if your cookin ain't superior
Fuck a pretty wife, Zone need to eat
In 20 years she'll be ugly, I need bon appetit'
So if you burn the grits I turn my hoof up to y'all
"One minute he's there then poof he's gone"
[Chorus: singing like The Jeffersons]
Sent that bitch to the kitchen
Made her turn on the grill
If that fish, ain't fuh-ryin
I'm fuckin with a Happy Meal
Baby don't try to kiss me
Know I don't go for that
As long as we livin, it ain't no lovin
Bitch turn on the oven!
[J-Zone:]
I need a chick that can cook anything I think of
But to me that ain't love, bitch that's just grub!
"Why don't you get some motherfuckin work or somethin
Stupid-ass bitch!"
[Celph Titled:]
Listen, if you ain't in the kitchen you in the doggy position
You just a pigeon cookin duck, ain't no love in just stickin
She got a kid I ain't the dad I be abusin the child
Bitch can cook a po'k chop but she ain't Julia Child
Round the way Puerto Rican chick but cook like she Cuban
Boliche, arroz con pollo, mofongo
Ay conio, she actin up, I smacked her with the Bisquick box
And bitch I'm not lickin your twat
unless it's smothered in gravy, your baby mother is crazy
Suckin my dick while she bakin, I put the cream in the pastry
The turkey baster is off limits, I get her off with it
I ain't Captain Save-A-Batch but save a batch of biscuits
for me and my niggaz, we eatin good tonight
You washin every dish in sight
Your fishsticks and grits are tight, attitude pitiful
Asked for a ring with emeralds I gave you cookbooks by Emeril
Love to watch you slave over the stove with your D-cup
breasteses, I'll tell you what breakfast is
It's my eggs sunny side up, sausage inside her
Your mouth get the ass bounce out of the fryer
I want food when I'm hungry and, head when I'm horny
Then I'm through with the hoe, like Zone's through with accordians
The key to our relationship is rice and peas
The chicken need a little salt and pass them spices please
Uh-huhhh, oh yeah what, yeah you were sayin?
You need your nails done and want help with the payment?
But I'll tell you one thing though, I ain't forkin dough
I'm at your crib starvin bitch, what the fuck you think this fork is fo'?
[Chorus: + more lines]
Now cook it on uppp! Cook it on up
Ain't cooked in a week, what the fuck
Now cook it on uppp! Cook it on up
Bitch you don't love me, what the fuck?
[Zone over Chorus:]
Aiyyo Hog, check this out man
See I got a new theory on life
It's called PBP (PBP what's that?)
Yeah, pancakes before pussy
Knahmsayin I had a threesome the other day
It was me wit'cha momma and Mrs. Butterworth
(Oh!) And it was sweet
I gotta eat before I skeet, heh yeah
Bon appetit, bitch!
[Ant Banks:]
"And the bitch better know how to cook
Cause I'm a nigga that'll eat some shit up"
