Sudden Death - Do You Piss In The Shower? lyrics

I was walkin' through the mall headin' to the record store

Gonna buy a new tape that came out the day before

Halfway there when I got a big scare

There's a guy with a clipboard scratching his hair

With a pencil, he's a Mall-Cockroach

And his face lit up when h saw me approach

I didn't even look at him I tried to hide

And I gradually wandered to the mall's other side

A guided missile couldn't catch me as fast

As this guy did as I tried to walk past

Pushed his face in mine and said "Excuse me sir,

May I have a few minutes of your time for a survey?"

My first thought was to bash in his skull with a brick

And then get out of there quick

But there's witnesses around, they would see him goin' down

And the last thing I need is to be sent downtown

So I told him make it quick, do it short and to the point

I had to keep a gynecologist appointment

I really just didn't want to be there for an hour

Then he turned to me and said, Do you piss in the shower?

Uhhh, I didn't know what to say

I was expecting an important question from the survey

Maybe something about AIDS for an intelligent discussion

Not a meaningless remark about a bodily function

He was serious and I was shocked

I just stuttered for a minute, I was in a mental block

Then he informed me that the government was payin'

To see how much urine was goin' down the drain

Just one of many studies that the government endows

Like how many gay seagulls and how many farting cows

Who really cares? So I said I'm gonna go

My piss is my business so you're never gonna know

But this is a real problem, we gotta try and fix it

Homelessness is caused by too many people pissin'

The theory makes sense and it's really quite frightening

I said, you're on drugs, but please, enlighten me

Gladly, scientists last year found

That urine from the shower drain leaks into the ground

It gets into the water that everybody drinks

Then it messes with their mind so the people can't think

They start takin' drugs all day and night

Then they lose their job 'cause they don't do it right

No job, no money, no home

This is a serious problem we can't leave alone

He seemed to want to make a career about piss

And I couldn't believe he was serious about this

So I walked away, I needed out of that place

But he turned and got right in my face

I got a weird felling kinda like heartburn

'Cause this guy was more attached to me than a tapeworm

I'm positive this guy would have followed me home

I said get out of my face and leave my urine alone

I pushed him away and wiped his spit off my chest

He said You're not gonna answer? Surely you jest

I said yeah, I jest, I jest oughtta kill you

Ask me again and some blood will be spilled

Do you piss in the shower? Boom, that's that

Bashed his face against the wall a few times now it's flat

And with his very last gasp of air he said

Do you piss in the shower?, so I pissed on his head.