Squeeze - Vanity Fair lyrics

(Difford/Tilbrook)

She left her school for the factory

From pocket money to a salary,

From a pac-a-mac to a compact case

And every morning she inspects her face.

She discovers pulling pints in pubs

That the good looks will never cover up for

Her dumbness in taking the stock

Sees her reflection in a butcher's shop.

She finds it all quite rare

That her meat's all vanity fair.

She has her eyes on medallion men

Who get her home on the dot at ten,

She combs her hair when she gets excused

The deal she wants always ends up screwed.

Paints her nails on the bathroom scales

Gargles her breath like a landed whale,

Her beauty is as deep as her skin

Keeps her eyebrows in a tobacco tin.

She poses foot on the chair

Coconut shy but vanity fair.

In her vanity case her compact case

In her compact case her eyes,

Not bad for a sister

But her vanity's fair and her sense of humour's dry.

She comes home late with another screw loose

She swears to have had just a pineapple juice,

Falls asleep fully clothed in her bed

With her makeup remover by her head.

And she might not be all there

But her dream's all vanity fair.