SOUTH PARK MEXICAN - Valley lyrics

There was one in the gang

who had scalectrix

and because of that

he thought he was better than you

every day after school

youd go around there to play him

hoping to compete for some kind championship

And it always took about 15 billion hours to set the track up

And even when you did, the thing never seemed to work

It was a dodgy transformer, again and again.

It was a dodgy transformer, again and again.

It was a dodgy transformer, again and again.

It was a dodgy transformer, that cost 3 pound 10.

So he sent his doting mother

up the stairs with the stepladder

to get the Subbuteo

out of the loft

it had all the accessories

required for that big-match atmosphere

the crowd and the dugout

the floodlights too

and you'd always get palmed off

with a headless center-forward

and a goal-keeper with no arms

and a face like his

and he'd managed to get hold of

a Dukla-Prague Away Kit

'cause his uncle owned a sport shop

and he'd kept it to one side

and after only five minutes

you'd be down to ten men

as hed sent off your right back

for taking the base from under his left-winger

come to half-time, you were losing, four-nil

each and every goal, a hotly disputed penalty

so you smash up the floodlights

and the game was abandoned

and the dog would bark

and you'd be banned from his house

and your travelling army

of synthetic supporters

would be taken away from you

and thrown in the bin.

and now he's working

in a job with a future

he hands me my Giro

every two weeks.

and me, I'm on the lookout

for a proper transformer