Romanovsky & Phillips - Once Upon A Time lyrics

(We continue to grow and evolve as a community. The changes are

Often surprising... and confusing.)

Once upon a time when life was simple and serene

My roommate was a lesbian and I a happy queen

I lived for Sunday brunches in my tightest fitting jeans

While she read _The Well of Loneliness_ and _Plexus_ magazine

But now I go to potlucks where the food is rather bleak

And I've joined a new support group that meets every other weeks

While she lives to go out dancing with her hair done up in curls

It's getting hard to tell the boys from the girls

Once upon a time when life was crystal clear

Each of us had favorite music we preferred to hear

While I went dancing to Sylvester down in Key West every year

She went to music festivals to worship Holly Near (Imagine my

Surprise)

But now our tastes in music have completely turned around

And now instead of Michigan she goes to Provincetown

While I play Alix Dobkin on my Walkman now and then (Gee, you're

An Amazon)

It's getting hard to tell the women from the men

One upon a time when life was easy to predict

Sex was something I could get and I could get it quick

I'd look at all the men and know that I could take my pick

While she frowned upon my lifestyle with each and every trick

But now my sex adventures, though still fun, are rather tame

While she's discovered JoAnn Loulan and she'll never be the same

Cause she dates a lot of women and she buys erotic toys

It's getting hard to tell the girls from the boys

Times they change

Fashions rearrange themselves

If you don't stay on top

You'll find yourself dropped on a shelf

Once upon a time when life was black and white

I used to do the drag shows to be famous for a night

While she drank her beer without a glass and looked for Mrs.

Right

I'd cruise the local customers just asking for a light

But now she is the only one who steps out in a dress

And I'm wearing all her flannel shirts and sandals, I confess

And now she smokes Virginia Slims instead of Lucky Strikes

It's getting hard to tell the boys from girls

Hard to tell the men from women

Hard to tell the faggots from the dykes

Now if all of this appears to show that everyone's gone mad

It's only part and parcel of a somewhat larger fad

Look no further than the glint of gold in many straight boys'

Ears

It's getting hard to tell the breeders* from the queers

(* The term "breeders" is fading from usage as gay and lesbian

Parents become more and more visible (see next song); however, it

Fit too well in this lyric not to use it. Cut me some slack, ok?

-RR)