Rodney Carrington - The Day My Wife Met My Girlfriend lyrics

The Day My Wife Met My Girlfriend

Well I Got Home and the door was locked

And I tried to ring the bell

I found a little bitty note that she had wrote

Telling me to go to hell

I crawled in the window, I got inside

She kicked me in the balls, and then I cried

Called me a name, said I lied

Kicked me again and I thought I died

Took my clothes, set em' on fire

And hit me with her curling iron

I tried to block it with my watch

And then she kicked me in the crotch . . . again

Yeah today's the day my wife met my girlfriend

Well I tried to tell her but she didn't care

Things weren't what they seemed

She had a pan on the stove full of boiling water

And my nads would soon be steamed

I tried to run, scream for help

She hit me in the nerts with a Rhinestone belt

It was like nothing that I ever felt

I thank god I wasn't wearing a kilt

She grabbed a bat from beneath the bed

She swung it once and then she missed my head

She reared back, swung it again and

Then she hit me in the twins . . . again

Yeah today's the day my wife met my girlfriend

Yeah today's that awful day,

Hey, my boys won't be the same

Yeah today's the day my wife met my girlfriend