Rodney Carrington - Dear Penthouse lyrics

Dear Penthouse: I'm a freshman at a small Midwestern university

And I never thought something like this could happen to me

When my teacher with the dynamite ass, asked me to stay after class

And she started to undress

I can't forget the statement she made

If you drop you pants I'll raise your grade

(Girl) Dear Penthouse: I never thought those letters were really true until

I was on a fishing trip and I met a girl named Jill

We had a little too much to drink

I couldn't believe what I was starting to think

So we headed to her tent, there's nothing like eating out

Though the next morning my breath still smelled like trout

Chorus

I've read every issue since 1974

The first two years behind the bathroom door

I poured through every Penthouse I could find

Even though my mom said I'd go blind

Dear Penthouse: I'm a seaman first class at an overseas naval base

It's been seven long months since I've seen a woman's face

When I saw your recent issue, I took a box of Kleenex tissue

And I locked the barracks door

Thanks to you I've gotten a grip, please excuse my jerky penmanship

Chorus

Dear Penthouse: Doing sports on the radio has always been my job

I've never wanted a man until I noticed BOB

When we're close I start to perspire

His little buns set my loins on fire

And I dream about the day he'll say, Chick lets get undressed

Name and address held upon request

Thanks to Dhiraj for these lyrics