The Higher Education of Ole Blue
written by C.W. Kalb, Jr.
Album: "Classic Ray Stevens"


INTRO: C  G7  F  C

        C
Well my daddy was a backwoods self-made type
      F
Never went to school, couldn't read nor write
            C                            G7
But made a fortune sellin' hogs, and was suspicious of education
        C
So when I told him I was goin' off to scool
              F
He said "well you listen to me you dumb cityfied fool
     C                                      G7               C
So don't expect no help from me son, and no financial remineration"
       G                                           C
Now my dad was tight but he loved his dogs, that's true
             D7                                  G
Yeah and his favorite of the pack was called Ole Blue

     C
So I called my dad when I got to college
        F
I said "Dad I know you don't think much of human knowledge
    C                                                        G7
But they got a course down here where they can teach dogs to speak, yeah
       C
Now I don't mean speak like bark for a bone
    F
Nah they say these dogs can carry on
   C                                  G7            C
An intelligent conversation and some even go on to teach, yeah
           G                                           C
And when I heard of that course of course I thought of you
         D7                                       G
And how great it'd be for you to sit and talk to Ole Blue"

          C
Well the line fell silent and I thought all was lost
       F
But he finally spoke up said "what's that cost?"
        C                                G7
I said "Dad it's a bargain at five thousand per semester"
     C
Well he didn't balk and he didn't complain
       F
'n Ole Blue showed up on the very next train
     C                 G7                 C
And that's how my dad became the priority investor


CHORUS:
       C                F      C
In the higher education of Ole Blue
                            D7        G
A story that if it's not at all to be true
        C7                        F
About a fiscal windfall situation of my very own creation
    C           Am               C        G      C
The inspiration that I call the education of Ole Blue

C
And the money just kept on rollin' in, ha ha ha
C
For 8 semesters, forty thousand dollars, woo!

C
Well all too soon time to graduate
    F
The day had dawned I'd come to hate
    C                                G7
The day I had to go home and face my dad
       C
When I stepped off the train he said "where's Ole Blue?
F
Phew! Phew! Phew! boy come here I wanna talk to you!
        C                                       G7                       C
And I swallowed hard and said Pop I've got some news and I'm 'fraid it's bad
               G                                 
You see comin' home on the train Ole Blue was smokin' his pipe
    C
And readin' the New York Times
         D7
When he took off his glasses, looked over and said
             G
'Boy are you aware of all your daddy's crimes?'

                      C
"Then he said 'he's a mass murderer just ask Denny Hog
         F
And he's treated my mama just like a dog
     C                                                    G7
And rubbed my nose in stuff you wouldn't believe, made me sleep on the hard cold ground
          C
But I can talk now and his days are through
            F
'Cause I'm gonna tell your mama a thing or two
           C                                    G7                   C
About his secret drinkin' habits, yeah and his affair with the Widow Brown'
           G                                           C
And when I heard Blue says those things Pop, somethin' snapped inside my brain
     D7                                       G
So I grabbed him up and I strangled him and I throwed him off the train, yeah"

         C
Well my dad looked at me his eyes ablaze
        F
And his face contorted like somebody crazed 
        C                                    G7
And it didn't look like he'd believed a word I'd said
        C
Then he grabbed my coat, pulled me up real close
      F                          N/C
Said "boy there's just one thing I wanna know
        C                             G7         C
Are you real sure that no-good lyin' fleabag is dead?", and that's


CHORUS

    C            Am              C        G      C    F   G  C
The inspiration that I call the education of Ole Blue