So you think you're bad, with your rap 
Well I'll tell ya pilgrim I started the crap 
When you were in diapers and wetting the sheets 
I was at the Ponderosa rapping to the beat 

Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 

Sure I rustled some cattle and tended the sheep 
But my main concern was rapping to the beat 
I don't bother nobody I'm a real nice guy, kinda 
laid back like a, dead fly 

Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 
Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 

I'm talkin, here and now 
Later for the cattle and rustlin the cow 
If I had a chance to do a repeat 
You can bet your sweet dippy I'd be rappin to the beat 

Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 

Que pasa amigos? Not a *pasa* I see 
Two hundred punks well what ya gonna do? 
I got two six shooters that'll see me through 
That's, twelve dead... 
and a hundred and eighty-eight pallbearers 

Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 

What I do on your grave won't pass for flowers either 

Now Kurtis Blow, Run-D.M.C. 
You haven't heard of rap, til ya heard it from me 
I'm the baddest rapper in history 
And there'll be no more, after me 

Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch 
Santa Barbera that is 
Swimmin pools, and movie stars 
Well the first thing ya know ol' Ron's the President 
The kinfolk said, "Ron move away from there" 
Said, "In The White House is where you wanna be" 
So he loaded up the Lincoln and he moved to D.C. 

Washington, that is 
Politicians taking a sip 
Foreign dignitaries taking a trip 
High tax and plenty Cadillacs 

Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 
Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 

Now ya see me in my movies, doin my thing 
But deep in my heart, I've wanted to sing 
"Wayyyy dowwwn, upon the swannnny riverrrrrr 
Farrrr, farrr awayyy 
Titwillow, titwillow, titwillow" 
I don't think, that's your style 
But I'll tell ya pilgrim, I'm versatile 
Aretha Franklin, Aretha Franklin 
Aretha Franklin let me rock ya let me rock ya Aretha Franklin 
Let me rock ya Aretha Franklin that's all I wanna do 
Aretha Franklinnnnnn 

Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 
Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 

I'm feeelin the groove now pilgrim 
Party, over here 
Party, over there 
There's nothin to it, the way we do it 
Woop woop! 
East coast, West coast 
Texas 

Every time I put on pants 
I tell ya pilgrim I wanna dance 
I put a quarter, in the juke' 
Then I commence, to doin the Duke 

Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 
Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 

It's pretty easy, if you can see 
Just move your arms kinda freely 
Do a pause, and take a step 
And just make sure the beat is kept 

Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 

I was at the Ponderosa rappin to the beat 
Tryin to cool off from the desert heat 
I discovered somethin, really neat 
The Duke has moves, with his feet 

Da haahh... da haahh 
Da haahh... da haahh 

I won plenty of ladies, with my charms 
But they like me the most for the moves of my arms 

Woahhh... woahhh 

I'm gonna rap, in the East 
Gonna rap, in the West 
I'll show ya pilgrim, who's the best 
Nothin to it, the way we do it 
Skiddely-be-bop, we-bop, Scooby Doo 
Guess what America we love you 

Da hahhhh, da hahhhh, da hahhhh 
Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 
Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 

Everybody 

Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 
Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh 
Da haahh, da haahh 
Da ha-hahh ha-hahh haahh...