sitting in my boxers eating apple jacks 
welcome to my world, welcome to my world 
whacking it to late night cinemax 

welcome to my world 

jagermeister and captain crunch 
nicotine and the brady bunch 
i'm building a boat out of pudding cups 

welcome to my world 

welcome to my world 
non-stop no-girl action without you 

this old shirt is starting to stink 
i don't give a damn what people think 
i can take a leak in the kitchen sink 

welcome to my world 

no you needn't shed a tear 
'cause I've got waffles and I've got beer 
and i've got mr. belvedere 

welcome to my world 

welcome to my world 
non-stop no-girl action without you 

don't want to be here 
don't want to be here tonight 
can't stand another episode of cheers tonight 
i hate that woody 
i hate diane 
frasier and norm 
and that dumbass mailman!