Monty Python - Medical Love Song lyrics

Reminds me of your smile.

I've had ballanital chancroids

For quite a little while.

I gave my heart to NSU

That lovely night in June.

I ache for you, my darling,

And I hope you get well soon.

My penile warts, your herpes,

My syphilitic sores.

Your moenelial infection,

How I miss you more and more.

Your dobie's itch, my scrumpox,

Our lovely gonnorrhea,

At least we both were lying,

When we said that we were clear.

Our syphilitic kisses,

Sealed the secret of our tryst.

You gave me scrotal pustules,

With a quick flick of your wrist.

Your trichovaginitis

Sent shivers down my spine;

I got snail tracks in my anus

When your spirochetes met mine.

Gonoccocal urethritis, streptococcal

ballinitis, meningo myelitis,

diplococcal cephalitis, epididimitis,

interstitial keratitis, syphilitic

choroiditis, and antertior u-ve-i-tis.

My clapped out genitalia

Is not so bad for me,

As the complete and utter failure

Every time I try to pee.

My doctor says my buboes

Are the worst he's ever seen,

My scrotum's painted orange

And my balls are turning green.

My heart is very tender

Though my parts are awful raw,

You might have been infected

But you never were a bore.

I'm dying of your love, my love

I'm your spirochaetal clown,

I've left my body to science

But I'm afraid they've turned it down.

Gonoccocal urethritis, streptococcal

ballinitis, meningo myelitis,

diplococcal cephalitis, epididimitis,

interstitial keratitis, syphilitic

choroiditis, and antertior u-ve-i-tis