Monty Python - Bruce's Philosophers Song lyrics

who was very rarely stable

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar

who could think you under the table

David Hume could out-consume

Wilhelm Froederich Hegel

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine

who was just as sloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya

'bout the raising of the wrist

Socrates himself was permanently pissed

John Stewart Mill of his own free will

on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill

Plato they say could stick it away

'alf a crate of whisky every day

Aristotle Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle

Hobbes was fond of his dram

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:

"I drink, therefore I am"

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed

A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed