John Wesley Harding - An Audience With You lyrics

Your footman barred me from the door

Said I couldn't see you no more

What's with this bureaucracy

When I filled the forms you left for me

He's a loyal man who waits for you

Where loyalty is such taboo

Sixteen keyholes in one straight line

I look through them from time to time

The weather down your end looks fine

But the forecast's grim down mine

I'm no gamble better understand

I like to know the story plan

People say I got no sense

But I'm waiting for an audience with you

And all the wrestlers you've employed

And all the boys with whom you toyed

You tell me please don't get annoyed

You're behaving like some Helen of Troy

I don't care for original sin

It's a stupid world we're living in

Your paid assassin makes me wait

He eats with fingers off his plate

He says you've got a pressing date

With r.i.ps and heads of state

I know that he won't let me in

Cos villains always have bad skin

People say I got no sense

But I'm waiting for an audience with you

A plastic surgeon's your best friend

He's got the means to any end

He's so efficient, you're so vain

So we won't see your face again

Heaven knows how hard you tried

Hell was such a bumpy ride

The widow with the holy eyes

Got a pistol strapped into her thighs

Says you're as sweet as apple pie

You only get so bitchy cos you're shy

But that's a load of papal bull

I put you on that pedestal

People say I got no sense

But I'm waiting for an audience with you

Give me the strength of Hercules

His fallen arches, water knees

And please please let me be like I oughtta be

Lost and lonely, hurt and happy

With a singer's vanity

Now everything seems like a myth

The strength that I have performed with

Two thousand stairs and there's no lift

Gonna get to the top and there's no if

What's for me when I get there

Is it just wheelchairs and grey hair

And never was one letter sent

I told the truth but told it bent

That's the custom that's the law

But don't ask me the reason for

I'm just a boy in love with you

I'm rejected by the things you do

People say I got no sense

But I'm waiting for an audience with you