Insane Clown Posse - If lyrics

If I was your tv I'd be like look at me<br>If I was a shooting star I'd be like peace!<br>If I was a fat bitches thong I'd be like hell naw!'<br>If I was a hotties thong I'd be like awwww...<br>If I was a cuss word I'd just be like fuck<br>If I was a rock on the moon I'd be chillin' like sup? <br>If I was a butthole I'd just be an exit<br>If I was the d.o.c. I'd be like man this is bullshit<br>If I was the tires on your car I'd be like neeeaaawww<br>If I was the bumper on your car I'd be like aww fuck<br>If I was a balloon I'd be like pap<br>If I was allysa milano I'd be fucking joe bruce<br>If I was a radio dj I'd probably say the point 103<br>If I was a richy ass bitch I'd be like umm...ok<br>If I was spin magazine I'd put me on the cover and be like fuck us! and<br>I won't read this, even us motherfucker!<br>If I was your mental stress I'd be catching up<br>If I was your headaches every now and then I'd be like thonnnkk!!<br>If I was your tongue I'd be hating your teeth I'd be like man why do<br>You try to bite me every time we try to eat? <br>If I was a chair I'd be like sit here<br>If I was kid rock I'd cut my feathered wolf hair<br>If I was your muffler I'd be like shhh, quietly<br>If I was a price tag I'd be like you ain't buying me<br>If I was a fresh ass dj I'd be like [records scratch]<br>If I was jam master j I'd be like [records scratch]<br>If I was a cheap clock radio I'd be like [static]<br>Tune that motherfucker in<br>If I was barry white I'd be like what up y'all? <br>If I was nipple in the cold I'd be like boing<br>If I was your dead uncle I'd be like .....<br>If I was a raindrop I'd just be like drip<br>And if I had an ax to your neck I might say chop!<br><br>[chorus]<br>If I was, if I was, but I'll never be<br>If I was, if I was, but I'll never be<br>If I was, if I was, but I'll never be<br>If I was, if I was, but I'll never be<br>If I was, if I was, but you're killing me<br>If I was, if I was. but you're killing me<br><br>If I was a faygo at one of our shows, I'd fly through the air into and<br>Ocean of juggalos<br>If I was andre the giant this is how I'd be talking<br>If I was father mc I'd be like now what happened? <br>If I was a mirror, I'd find another mirror<br>And look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear<br>If I was a slider I'd slide out your butt<br>I'd be floatin' in your toilet lookin' at you like what? <br>If I was a pilot I'd be like this is air traffic control<br>If I was john denver I'd be like nooooooo!!!!<br>If I was a switch I'd be like flick me, yoo-hoo<br>If I was a london cop car I'd be like wee-oop wee-oop<br>If I was chewbacca I'd get a fresh ass fade<br>If I was vanilla ice I'd be like fuck y'all. I'm still paid<br>If I was a stop sign I'd just be like stop<br>If I was your wooden leg I'd still be giving you the hip-hop<br>[chorus}