Gwar

FHMonline.com recently conducted an interview with Dave Brockie, GWAR frontman and intergalactic badass. A couple of excerpts from the chat follow:

FHMonline.com: SLIPKNOT recently told us that they're the most insane band. Why should we believe you?

Brockie: They're basically a GWAR tribute band — they dress up in these silly costumes and we appreciate that. I see no reason to denigrate SLIPKNOT or what any other band has done. But come on, we're monsters from outer space! How can they possibly compete with that?

FHMonline.com: Bands like LORDI are certainly trying, recently winning the Eurovision award for Best Song. But aren't they just GWAR-Lite?

Brockie: Well, yeah totally. They're like a kiddie version of GWAR. It's all part of one big bloody genre in rock 'n' roll history starting with Jay Hawkins and Alice Cooper and KISS. A lot of people are like, "These people are ripping you off!" But they're not ripping us off anymore than we ripped off KISS or any other band that incorporated theatrical elements into their shows.

FHMonline.com: Who's been your gnarliest fan?

Brockie: I love GWAR fans because they realize that we really are the mutants of the industry, the bottom feeders, if you will. It takes a level of commitment to be a GWAR fan. One of the most legendary dudes we ever met was this guy, Billy, who was a good friend of ours from California. He was really into taking acid. He cruised around with us for a week and once when we were getting ready to cross the border into Canada he nudges me and says, "Hey Brockie, I've got 200 hits of acid on me — what should I do?" I'm like. "You fucking idiot! You're going to get this whole van arrested." So he ate the entire sheet of acid. Two hundred hits. He couldn't talk for four days. He survived — but, I don't really think his brain came out of it very well. He ended up in prison for assaulting his Korean neighbor with a shotgun.

FHMonline.com: If we drug tested you right now, what would we find?

Brockie: Weed — and tons of it. We're just a bunch of stoners. We like to drink beer and smoke pot. But one of the things that GWAR has avoided, which I think is a big part of our longevity, is hard drugs. We've seen it fuck up a lot of people and destroy a lot of bands. This band is just too demanding and it really takes all of your effort and energy, especially wearing a 50-pound armored suit in front of a bunch of people. And then you have the Sounds of the Underground tour where the shows are outdoor — it's really fucking hot. I was reading this interview with Corey [Taylor, lead vocalist] from SLIPKNOT and he was bitching about how hot his overalls were. Put on my shit, son. I bet you won't last five minutes. He's a big whiner.