Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa - Muffin Man lyrics

The old man was covered with tattoos and scars

He got some in prison and others in bars

The rest he got workin' on old junk cars in the daytime

They looked like tombstones in our yard

And I never seen him when he wasn't tired and mean

He sold used parts to make ends meet

Covered with grease from his head to his feet

Cussin' the sweat and the Texas heat and mosquiters

And the neighbors said we lived like hicks

But they brung their cars for pa to fix anyhow

He was veteran-proud, tried and true

He'd fought till his heart was black and blue

Didn't know how he'd made it through the hard times

He bought our house on the G.I. Bill

But it wasn't worth all he had to kill to git it

He drank pearl in a can and Jack Daniels black

Chewed tobacco from a mail pouch sack

Had an old dog that was trained to attack sometimes

He'd get drunk and mean as a rattlesnake

And there wasn't too much

That he would take from a stranger

There were thirteen kids and a bunch of dogs

A house full of chickens and a yard full of hogs

I spent the summertime cuttin' up logs for the winter

Tryin' like the devil to find the Lord

Workin' like a nigger for my room and board

Coal-burin' stove, no natural gas

If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass

If that ain't country,

It'll hairlip the pope

If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke

I've seen the Grand Ole Opry,

And I've met Johnny Cash

If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass

Mama sells eggs at a grocery store

My oldest sister is a first-rate whore

Dad says she can't come home anymore

And he means it

Ma just sits and keeps her silence

Sister, she left 'cause dad got violent

And he knows it

Mama she's old far beyond her time

From chopping tobacco and I've seen her cryin'

When blood started flowin' from her calloused hand

And it hurt me

She'd just keep workin' tryin' to help the old man

To the end of one row and back again like always

She's been through Hell since Junior went to jail

When the lights go out she ain't never failed

To get down on her knees and pray

Because she loves him

Told all the neighbors he was off in the war

Fightin' for freedom,

He's good to the core and she's proud

Now our place was a graveyard for automobiles

At the end of the porch there was four stacks of wheels

And tires for sale for a dollar or two cash.

There was fifty holes in an old tin roof

Me and my family we was livin' proof

The people who forgot about poor white trash

And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass

And if that ain't country, It'll hairlip the pope

And if that ain't country, It's a damn good joke

I've seen the Grand Ole Opry,

And I've met Johnny Cash

And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass

I'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes

Concerning the great speckled bird

I didn't know God made Honky-Tonk Angels

And went back to the wild side of life.

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