Dead Milkmen

Dead Milkmen - Stuart (2) guitar tab

The original tabs to this song, I noticed, had some minor errors on it. I transcribed

the song myself, I think these are the correct tabs.

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E|-----------------------------------------|

You know what, Stuart, I LIKE YOU. You're not like the other

people, here,

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E|-----------------------------------------|

in the trailer park. Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they're

good Americans.

F D

But they're content to sit back, maybe

F E F D F

watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kick

E F D F

back a cool, Coors 16-ouncer. They're good, fine people,

E F D F

Stuart. But they don't know ... what the queers are doing

C

to the soil!

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You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the kid that delivers papers

in the neighborhood. He's a foreign kid.

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Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.

Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a Burrow Owl.

F D F E F D

Kept bugging his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never

F E F

ask for anything else as long as I live." So the guy

D F E

breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.

F D F

Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's

C

the Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are

G#

you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl."

A# D# G# D#

I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows

G# D# G#

the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you

D# A#

think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?" Now Stuart, do you

think a kid like that is going to know what the

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queers are doing to the soil? I first became aware of this about ten years ago,

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the summer my oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into

town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride

called The Mixer.

F D F E F

The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside

D F E F D F

the Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr, he was a DAAAREDEVIL, just

E F D F

like his old man. He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody,

C

Look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was decapitated! They found

G# A# D#

his head over by the snow cone concession.

G# D#

A few days after that, I open up the mail. And there's a pamphlet

G# D#

in there. From Pueblo, Colorado, and it's addressed to Bill, Jr.

G# D# A#

And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our

soil?"

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Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city,

there's a big undeground homosexual population.

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Des Moines, Iowa, for an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart.

You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The government

F D F E F

says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on,

E

Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens.

F D F

They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to

God.

C

You know what, Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other

F

people, here in this trailer park.

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