David Allan Coe

If That Ain't Country Chords, Tabs



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If That Ain't Country
by David Allan Coe

tabbed by Matellmon


    D                                             G   
THE OLD MAN WAS COVERED WITH TATOOS AND SCARS, HE GOT SOME IN PRISON AND SOME IN THE BARS.
    A                                           D   
THE REST HE GOT WORKIN' ON OLD JUNK CARS IN THE DAY TIME.
     D
THEY LOOKED LIKE TOMBSTONES IN OUR YARD
      G                      A                D  
AND I NEVER SEEN HIM WHEN HE WASN'T TIRED AND MEAN.


   D                                  G
HE SOLD USED PARTS TO MAKE ENDS MEET, COVERED WITH GREASE FROM HIS HEAD TO HIS FEET,
A                                           D
CUSSIN' THE SUN AND THE TEXAS HEAT, AND THE SKEETERS.
        D 
AND THE NEIGHBORS SAY WE LIVE LIKE HICKS,
         G                    A         D  
BUT THEY BRING THEIR CARS FOR PA TO FIX ANYHOW.


       D                                   G
HE WAS VET'RIN PROUD, TRIED AND TRUE, HE'D FIGHT TILL HIS HEART WAS BLACK AND BLUE,
A                                         D 
DIDN'T KNOW HOW HE'D MAKE IT THROUGH, THE HARD TIMES.
D
BOUGHT OUR HOUSE ON THE G.I. BILL, 
       G                   A              D
BUT IT WASN'T WORTH ALL HE HAD TO KILL TO GET IT.


         D                                      G
HE DRANK PEARL IN A CAN AND JACK DANIELS BLACK, CHEWED TOBACCO FROM A MAIL-POUCH SACK,
A                                          D   
HAD AN OLD DOG THAT WAS TRAINED TO ATTACK, SOMETIMES.
D
HE'D GET DRUNK AND MEAN AS A RATTLESNAKE, 
          G                    A                     D 
AND THERE WASN'T TOO MUCH THAT HE WOULD TAKE, FROM A STRANGER.


          G             A              D                            G
THERE WAS 13 KIDS AND A BUNCH OF DOGS, HOUSE FULL OF CHICKENS AND A YARD FULL OF HOGS,
A                    G                       D  
SPENT THE SUMMERTIME CUTTIN' UP LOGS FOR THE WINTER.
G                        A                  D                            G
TRYIN' LIKE THE DEVIL TO FIND THE LORD, AND WORKIN' LIKE A NIGGER FOR MY ROOM AND BOARD,
A                                                                             D 
COAL BURNIN' STOVE, NO NATURAL GAS, AND IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, I'LL KISS YOUR ASS.


D             G                          D   
IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, IT'LL HAIRLIP THE POPE,
              G    A                    D
IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, IT'S A DAMN GOOD JOKE.
              G          A        D            G 
I'VE SEEN THE GRAND 'OLE OPRY AND I MET JOHNNY CASH,
                  A                       D
AND IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, I'LL KISS YOUR ASS.


      D                                        G
WELL, MOMMA SOLD EGGS AT THE GROCERY STORE, MY OLDEST SISTER WAS A FIRST-RATE WHORE,
A                                             D
DAD SAYS SHE CAN'T COME HOME ANY MORE, AND HE MEANS IT.
D
MA JUST SITS AND KEEPS HER SILENCE
G                      A                        D
SISTER SHE LEFT 'CAUSE DAD GOT VIOLENT, AND SHE KNOWS IT.


D                                          G  
MOMMA SHE'S OLD, FAR BEYOND HER TIME, FROM CHOPPIN' TOBACCO
                          A                                                      D  
AND I SEEN HER CRYIN WHEN BLOOD STARTED FLOWIN' FROM HER CALLOUSED HANDS, AND IT HURT ME.
D
BUT SHE'D JUST KEEP WORKIN' TRYIN' TO HELP THE OLD MAN, 
         G                  A               D 
FROM THE END OF ONE ROW AND BACK AGAIN,LIKE ALWAYS.


      D                                                         G
SHE'D BEEN THROUGH HELL SINCE JUNIOR WENT TO JAIL, AND WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT SHE AIN'T NEVER FAILED,
   A                                          D  
TO GET DOWN ON HER KNEES AND PRAY, 'CAUSE SHE LOVES HIM.
D
SHE TOLD ALL THE NEIGHBORS HE WAS OFF IN THE WAR,
G                          A                           D 
FIGHTIN' FOR FREEDOM, HE'S GOOD TO THE CORE, AND SHE'S PROUD.


D                                                 G 
OUR PLACE WAS A GRAVEYARD FOR AUTOMOBILES, AT THE END OF THE PORCH WERE 4 STACKS OF WHEELS,
    A                                   D
AND TIRES FOR SALE FOR A DOLLAR OR TWO, CASH.
 

          G                 A
THERE WERE 50 HOLES IN THAT OLD TIN ROOF.
D                    G 
ME AND MY FAMILY WAS LIVIN' PROOF,
   A
OF PEOPLE WHO FORGOT ABOUT POOR WHITE TRASH
                                         D
AND IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY I'LL KISS YOUR ASS.


D             G                          D   
IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, IT'LL HAIRLIP THE POPE,
              G    A                    D
IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, IT'S A DAMN GOOD JOKE.
              G          A        D            G 
I'VE SEEN THE GRAND 'OLE OPRY AND I MET JOHNNY CASH,
                  A                       D
AND IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, I'LL KISS YOUR ASS.
 
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