COUP - Me And Jesus The Pimp In A '79 Granada Last Night lyrics

[Boots]

Well, he was smilin' like a vulture as he rolled up the horticulture

Ignited it, and said, "I hope the vapors don't insult ya"

What I replied denied, but he mixin weed and hop

His head was noddin' up and down like he agreed a lot

Bored, said, "We need a plot," I comply, "Let's leave the spot"

Hopped in the Granada, he's impressed by the beat I got

His name is "hay-zoos" but his pimp name is "gee-zus"

Slapped a hoe to pieces with his plastic prosthesis

"Nigga don't you know that I'm your daddy?" said he

This is true, plus he schooled me for my mackin' degree

"Never plea, try not to flee, make niggaz pee when you stick around"

This man my momma had found taught me to put it down

I press the gas to the ground to show that I'm a hound

Makin' sho' that get rubber sound is heard throughout the town

Thirty years ago, Jesus could pull a hoe quick

But now he 50 and his belly hangs lower than his dick

Philosophy that he spit stuck in my memory chips

And now he puttin' in a disk of Gladys Knight and the Pips

Then that shit starts to skip, he said, "Somebody musta scratch it"

Put the 40 to his lips and poured the contents down the hatchet

Well since my adolescense, cause of his pimp lessons

Smack my woman in the dental just for askin' silly questions

Relationship reduction to either rock the box or suction

Ain't got no close potnahs, socially I cain't function

From the pen he would scribe, on how to survive:

"Don't be Microsoft, be Macintosh with a Hard Drive"

Used to tell me all the time to keep a bitch broke

Did I mention that my momma was his number one hoe?

Clunked the 40 on the flo' and placed his palm on the dash

And wheezed out, "C'mon man, make this motherfucker mash!"

Ain't gon' mash too fast, cause my tags ain't right

Me and Jesus the Pimp in a '79 Granada last night

Chorus: *sung* (2X)

Oakland do you wanna ride?

I can't hear you! Oakland do you wanna ride tonight?

[Boots]

City lights from far way can makeyou drop yo' jaw

Sparklin' like sequins on a transvestite at Mardi Gras

There's beauty in the cracks of the cement

When I was five I hopped over them wherever we went to prevent

Whatever it was that could break my momma's back

Little did I know that it would roll up in a Cadillac

And matta-fact, she couldn't see him like a cataract

And on the track, she went from beautiful to battleaxe

And back at home, she would cry into her pillow

Vomit in the commode, I was six years old

I would crawl onto her lap and we would hug and hold

Never knew how she was suffering for my food and clothes

She asked me what I thought of Jesus when he broke off some bread

I said, "He missin' a arm, and he seem like a pee-pee head"

She said, "Don't cuss," and my teeth to go brush

And get ready for bed, and the toilet to flush

With tears in my momma's eyes, I was her everything

Before she went out on the stroll

She'd tuck me into bed and sing:

You're much too beautiful for words (4X)

I see the red and white lights as the ambulance flies

Reminds me of midnight in a dopefiend's eyes

And my 9-year-old self as paramedics leave

Left to ball my eyes out on a neighbor's sleeve

To give illustrations that are clear and clean

I'll take you two hours back before this scene:

Early in the morning when the sun starts to creep

When the birds start to chirp and crackheads go to sleep

Moms was comin' in I heard her keys go clink

Wearin' nothin' but pumps, bikini, and fake mink

Even though she served, for fifty dollars-a-pop

Hardly had enough for rent after Jesus re-copped

That day the landlady got her rent befo' he got his knot

Slammed momma's head against the front bolt lock

Then the pump wit one arm done harm

Reached back and plowed into her head like a farm

Never saw the act, locked in the back, I was cussin'

Heard the blap blap of twenty headcrack percussion

And body blows, her body froze from bolo's to the spine

I was hysterically cryin', all she could do was whine

She didn't even have the strength to say, "I love you Boo"

But I said it to her and she knew that I knew

She was dead by the time the ambulance got on the case

But I never will forget the plastic hand stuck in her face

Stop at the intersection to ask Jesus 'bout directions

"S go to Frisco..." (I got very friendly vocal inflections)

Mob a left at MacArthur to continue in flight

Me and Jesus the Pimp in a '79 Granada last night

Chorus

[Boots]

The rain dropped giant pearls, God was pissin' on the world

Or that old man who was snorin' rolled on over and earled

My temperatyre gauge read "cold and blistery"

Spinnin' wheels made each piece of asphault history

This was Jesus debut out the penitentiary

Fifteen years, but it seem like a century

See, he went in the pen for some other murder drama

Twelve years old when I wrote him quote I wanna be a pimp comma

You accidentally killed my mom, no playa hation points

You know how bitches act, shit exclamation points

First it was a set up move, then it was the truth

His letters were the only thing I had as a youth

But his lopsided game, see, was really counterfeit

So my little son Dominic thinks that I'm a dick

Cause I was runnin' 'round like a little baby Jesus

To me women had to be saints, hoes, or skeezers

And I don't think that it's gon' end til we make revolution

But who gon' make the shit if we worship prostitution?

Ain't no women finna die for the same ol' conclusion

Put they life on the line so some other pimp could use 'em

Pulled into a vacant lot, the road to recovery

Pulled out my pistol as we brushed against the shrubbery

Jesus said, "Why the hell you pointin' a gat?"

So I pulled a piece of game I could use out the hat

I said, "This trip is over, we ain't finna ride on

This is for my mental and my momma that I cried on

Microsoft motherfuckers let bygones be bygones

But since I'm Macintosh, I'ma double click your icons"

He struggled for life, then gave up the fight

Me and Jesus the Pimp in a '79 Granada last night

Chorus