Cledus T Judd - Grandpa Got Runned Over By A John Deere (Bonus Track) lyrics

Parody of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer by Elmo & Patsy (R. Brook), Kris Publishing Co./Elmo Publishing (SESAC)

New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd and Bruce Burch, La-Po Music (BMI)/Bruce Burch Publishing (SESAC)

CHORUS

Grandpa got runned over by a John Deere

Walking home from the Moose Lodge Christmas Eve.

Now you can say there's no such thing as Santa,

But after suing John Deere, I believe...

He'd been a-guzzlin' old Jack Daniels

And smokin' that wacky weed-

He mixed it with his medication

And run off with some bleach-blonde named Bernice.

When we found him Christmas mornin'

We thought he had a heart attack.

But he had tar prints on his forehead

And incriminatin' hickies on his neck.

(ON HIS WHAT???)

CHORUS

But we're all ashamed of Grandpa.

He took Grandma's death too well.

Started watchin' porno movies

And engaging in phone sex with Cousin Belle.

It's a better Christmas without Grandpa

Last year in church, he mooned the choir.

At first, we thought it was Alzheimer's,

But looking back, we realized he was wired.

CHORUS

Yeah, I filed myself a lawsuit

And they awarded me two mil.

You know Grandpa didn't leave me nuthin',

But thanks to that old John Deere, he got killed.

Funny, all my friends and neigh-bras

Turned up on the grand jury,

(laughs) I bribed 'em like Johnny Cochran

Did when they set O.J. Simpson free.

GUIL-TY!!!

CHORUS (x2)