Chiodos

Chiodos frontman Craig Owens has posted a blog about his suicide attempt last Sunday (July 20)

"To my fans & friends:

So, it's no secret that I have recently went through one of the

hardest times in my life.

On Sunday, July 20th, I attempted to overdose on prescribed Xanax at

my home here in Michigan. Flash ahead 12 hours later, I woke up in the

emergency room surrounded by my family and best friends, with an IV in

my left arm, and hooked up to machines.

I felt confused, angry, selfish, and completely embarrassed.

After being admitted to the hospital for a couple of days, I made my

way to recovery and built up enough strength and courage with the

support of my loved ones enough to make it back home.

I am okay, though. Thankfully, I had no permanent physical damage to

myself from this.

This isn't something that I went through by myself. I am, by no

means,

alone in this. My family and close friends have been by my side each

minute since the incident and, you, my fans, have been right there

with me too.

I have received an incredible amount of MySpace messages, comments,

emails, instant messages, text messages and voice mails supporting me

through this time in my life. So many people loved me more than I ever

thought and the amount of happiness that this brings to me is more

than I ever could describe.

You have all shown me a new, blinding light within myself and from

that ray you seem to shine on me with every one of your beautiful

comments (and I read every single one of them), not to mention your

undeniable support. Thanks to you, I've already began to return to my

"normal" self- a person that I had forgotten all about.

Why did this happen?

I have been battling with manic depression, bipolar disorder, and

constant anxiety attacks for years. This disease has caused me to hide

in my bedroom for weeks at a time, push away the most important people

in my life, and learn to hate myself even. I have tried to remain

strong through the years, fighting off urges and using the undying

support of my fans, friends, family, and loved ones to turn my

depression into an art- a music to share with the world.

I also have been speaking with a therapist for around a year now,

maybe more. This has helped me to come in touch with who I am as a

human being and why I do the things that I do. Rationalizing my

imperfections and trying to wear them as if they were badges of honor

is something that I had learned to pride myself off of- until this

incredibly selfish and stupid act I pulled.

What's next?

I'm looking towards the future and have been blinded by the

brightness

of it. After taking care of myself over the past few days, and talking

through this situation with my family, friends, and managers, I am

committed to creating only positive actions out of the deepest and

darkest low I have found myself in with this. I will not be canceling

any upcoming shows, with the exception of this Sunday's show (7/27)

in

Albany, NY with P.O.D and Everclear. My solo show this Saturday

(7/26), WILL STILL BE HAPPENING, and will be an emotional and

therapeutic experience, to say the least. With it being in Detroit,

and being able to perform softly, with spoken-words, and seeing all of

the people that have been by my side though this entire thing, I hope

to find a new bliss within this rut I have found myself in.

I cannot wait enough to get back out onto the road with Chiodos for

our just-announced headlining tour this August to October. Being in

front of all of you gives me such strength and if I hadn't been home

so much for the past few months, thinking too much and allowing

darkness to overcome me, who knows if this would have even had

happened.

I have a long road ahead of me, no doubt, but I feel that this

experience has, oddly enough, given me new strength to take control of

my situation and it has shown my loved ones (and myself) the

seriousness of what I've been struggling with too.

I will not stop playing music, writing, or opening myself up to the

people that matter most to me. All we have is one another and this

entire situation is nothing but a GIANT reminder that we ALL need to

stay strong and hold one another up during even the hardest of times.

I love you- Craig."