Camper Van Beethoven - The History of Utah lyrics

He was the river boat gambler

He was the son of the chief of police

He drove around in a Rambler

He had a message from the chief

He drove around in a Rambler

He had a message from the chief

He was the river boat gambler

He was the son of the chief of police

He was the river boat gambler

He was the son of the chief of police

And old Joe

Did and said as he would

Took all the shopping carts from the mall

And took them to Utah

Which was Zion

He built an empire out of the desert

Out of the dust and the sand, just like Las Vegas

But he never took the rap that the Mafia did

And he thought the Indians were some lost thirteen dudes

But he didn't treat them any better

And they were never on his side

They drove their pick-up trucks out into the desert

Into a ditch along the side of the road

And acted like they were drunk

All the time

And old Joe had thirteen beady-eyed babies

One of whom I used to go to school with

He'd drive his car at a hundred ten down the alley way

Throwing cinder blocks at trash cans

And I declare on this occasion

I've never seen this heaven or this place any differently

But now and then I dream of the flying saucers and they're coming to take us

away