Bobby Darin - The Proper Gander lyrics

There was a white mouse consultation

Down at the county fair

All the church mice, field mice and not

so nice mice

Everybody gathered there

You see the muckidy muck he was

speakin', tellin' them where it was at

He said hear, hear there ain't nothin' to fear

Except a three eyed Siamese cat

And the crowd was stunned

See, no single mouse had ever seen one

He said don't be scared

We're prepared.

Then he held up a great big picture

So every mouse could see

What a three eyed Siamese cat looked like

The face of the enemy

And the crowd let out such a shudder

As they lined up file and rank

Starin' at a twenty foot picture frame

Surroundin' a twenty foot blank

Just empty space

But every single mouse

Swore he saw a face

He said don't be scared

We're prepared

Then the muckidy much started screamin'

Yellin' till his voice gave out

He said now that you've seen what the

cat looks like

Gonna tell you what he's all about

He said he don't eat cheese on Friday

And he goes around lickin' his paws

He's awful mean and he loves to keep clean

And believes in changin' laws

And the crowd went wild

And every mouse began to fear for his child

Don't scared

We're prepared.

Now two times two is forty-five

The muckidy muck explained

And the flat side of the moon is green

And the farmer don't need no rain

And the night is light and might is right

And Supermouse is on our side

And the three eyed Siamese cat's a plague

From which nobody can hide

And the mice all cringed

The whiskers of that cat would soon

be singed

Don't be scared

We're prepared.

Then the muckidy muck started singin'

Through his great paternal grin

And the church mice, field mice

All the patriotic mice

Everybody chimed right in

They sang this land is mice land

Mice country tis of thee

Well my father took it from the beaver rat

Nobody's gonna take it from me

And the mice all cheered

The sound that they were makin' sure

was weird

Dont' be scared

We're prepared.

Then the muckidy muck said line up here

Everybody give a buck

To fight the three eyed Siamese cat

takes money

And a little bit of luck

We've got a million of our best young mice

To go out and volunteer

To give up what they're livin' for

To make the cat disappear

Let's give 'em a hand

Yay

We don't want that cat invadin' our land

No way

We're not scared

We're prepared.

Then a mighty strange thing happened

Guess you could call it fate

You see, a gust of wind blew the picture

frame down

And it landed on the muckidy muck's head

And the mice they all went crazy

For the first time they saw the lie

It was all a hoax on just simple folks

And the muckidy muck must die

And die he did

The members of his staff they just fled

They were scared

Hah

Just not prepared.