Bloodhound Gang - A Lapdance Is So Much Better bass tab
Whole Song:
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Repeat Through Whole Song
Ending= first line
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into
Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been a while. In fact, three hundred
and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on
I-10. I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy
Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself
to ruby red lips, milky white skin, and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave," this pretty little thing come up to me
and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock. Said her name was Bambi
and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', 'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin'
you like a deer." Well, she smiled, had about as much teeth as a jack-o-lantern, and I
went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And
then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. Course, it's hard to
hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even
this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammerin' Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resemblin' a cheddar cheese
log with almonds on Santa Claus' tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes, and thirty
dollars later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got to nail
her back at her trailer. That rhymes. I have to admit, it was even more of a turn-on when
I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin, and slid on into The
Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop. There I was browsin' through the
latest issue of Throb, when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well,
my heart just dropped. So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You cannot imagine
how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when
you're doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children
could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
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