Adam Sandler - Santa Song lyrics

So many presents,<br>So little time,<br>Santa won't be coming around my house this year,<br>'cos I tried to drown my sister and I pierced my ear,<br>Oh mama made it perfectly clear,<br>Santa don't like bad boys...especially jewish ones.<br><br>Gnip-gnop and lego blocks are all that I desire,<br>So why did I have to set the pizza guy's hair on fire,<br>I told him I was sorry,<br>I'm a liar,<br>So no toys for me...i don't deserve them.<br><br>I couldn't wait for a big wheel as the holiday neared,<br>But then I told my grandma that she had a beard.<br><br>Dear santa,<br><br>I know what my problem is, why I can't be good, it's a fear of intimacy.<br>You see my whole life whenever I've met someone really great like you and<br>I keep feeling like I'm getting close to them, something inside me makes<br>Me want to screw it up. so in a weird way the reason I'm so bad is because<br>I love you santa.<br><br>Rock-em sock-em robots is what I was hoping for,<br>But then I made a death threat to vice president gore,<br>Oh santa won't be knocking on my door,<br>'cos he's a big fat whore...what made me say that? <br><br>Chutes and ladders would be so good indeed,<br>So why'd I have to sell that cop a bag of weed,<br>So santa please give me that easy bake oven,<br>I swear I thought billy goats we're made for lovin'.<br><br>So santa won't you accept my apologies,<br>Santa can't you see I'm begging you please,<br>Oh santa next year I'll do you right,<br>Live from new york it's saturday night...